Taking a break from editing, I thought I would like to write to you, my dear reader. I have had a pressing thought in my spirit the last couple of days. It began sometime ago, while listening to an account of the life of Smith Wigglesworth. The person said that Mr. Wigglesworth had the discipline of daily communion with God, after which he would get out of bed shouting in praise to the Lord. It struck me as I am not sure I have a ten minute ‘happy dance’ in me every morning I wake up. I let it convict me a long time. I have noticed that, when approached with someone who seems to have a stronger testimony than our own, the tendency of many is to destroy their character and thereby disregard the conviction which came by result of their testimony. I was very careful not to do this, rather, I let the conviction linger.
I had a hard couple of months on many fronts. The day that the Campus closed, and the spring semester ended I was left (seemingly) without purpose. This wore on me daily, what will I do with myself through the summer? What is my purpose? I made a tough decision in going to Alaska, I sold the van I had been blessed with (which had been my home during the campus ministry) within the first seventy-two hours of arriving it seemed I had made a mistake. The drawing factor was likely not going to happen, the ‘pilot apprenticeship’ that I thought would give me a viable skill for a career disintegrated. What do I do? What is my purpose? To top that off, I had some health issues which began to plague me. I was and am eternally grateful for the hospitality of Pastor David and his family. Still, I thought on the question, am I able to praise God despite of these things in a way that brings glory to the kingdom?
I left Alaska, as I came, with hope that I was making the right decision. I ended up in Spokane which was something I had not considered, but there have been many confirmations that I am in the will of God. I found out Tuesday some of the cause of the health problems: periodontal disease has advanced. I have an appointment next month to have all my teeth on top pulled. Though this was a relief, let me go back before this week to get to the point I want to make.
“That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
Joy unspeakable. It could have been coming here and a way opening immediately to go to Boise, something I had prayed secretly for. It could have been the fellowship in the Spirit with the Saints here in Spokane or preaching the Mormon conference and seeing the brethren there. It could have been any number of things, which brought the breakthrough. The bottom line is the breakthrough took hold I have found myself in joy in the morning, despite so much uncertainty, and even days waking up in pain. These trials are truly worth more than gold or silver which pass away. Nothing is wasted in God’s economy, the things I’ve lost (or never received) could have easily become idols, which would have gotten in the way of my relationship with God.
Sometime ago, while in Alaska, I was asked a question which caused me to remember how this ministry began. It started during a time of fasting and prayer shut in the church in which God convinced me to sell my taxicab and follow Him. I remember asking, how would I survive? God answered with a question which has resonated with ever since, “Do you trust ME?”
“Yes, Lord, I trust you.”
So, all of this has pushed me to remember who I am in the Lord. If all the campuses of America repented of their wicked ways (PRAISE GOD!) I still have an identity. My life is hid in Christ Jesus. Though I may never have the experience of being a pilot (a lifelong dream) I have much greater promise! As for uncertain circumstances I am in good company, Paul wanted to go to Spain but we see no evidence he ever made it. He spoke of many uncertainties and suffered much torment in serving the kingdom. In the face of all this Paul rejoiced! If he could do it, by the grace of God, so will I. This was God’s intent in making me: to praise Him!
 Co.3:3  I Co. 2:9-10  Rm.15:28  II Co.11:23-27
“Thy testimonies have I taken as an heritage for ever: for they are the rejoicing of my heart.”
I have delighted myself in You Lord and You have promised the desire of my heart. I have sought first Your righteousness and Your kingdom I stand patiently waiting for You to add as You will all things to me. Breakthrough comes just after surrender, as honor comes after humility. In times past, I can see where I gave up too soon, to my own loss and shame. Time after time, I recognize the pattern, as I surrender the Lord brings the victory. This is broken, contrition, this is meekness displayed. What a day it will be to see Jesus! But woe unto us if we don’t praise Him, though we have yet seen Him.
 Ps.37:4  Mt. 6:33  Pr. 15:33  Pr. 18:12  I Co. 15:57-58  I Jn. 3:1-2  Jn. 20:29
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I am only a brother...
Can I tell you about my elder brother Jesus?